It'd Be Safer To Hate Her Than To Love Her And Lose Her
by LeJoriLover1993
Summary: This is a Jori one-shot. I hate her. It's best that I hate her. It's better that I hate her. Life makes sense if I hate her. But, I don't hate her. Why do I hate her? Do I hate her? Rated T. Little Hurt&Comfort/Little Fluff. I own nothing but the plot. ENJOY!


**It'd Be Safer To Hate Her Than To Love Her And Lose Her... (JORI One Shot)**

Brown eyes meet my own and I immediately tense. My body goes rigid, as if I touched something unappealing. In fact, it is the very opposite.

I give her my mightiest glare and she shivers, looking away with urgency. Her locked jaw twitches. I frown at the small movement. What is Vega's game, anyway? I ask myself. I don't see any ploys or tricks or anything.

Bringing the cup of coffee to my lips, I take a long sip, letting the black liquid scorch my throat. My tongue wets my lips as I sigh contently. There's nothing I love more than coffee.

Or maybe, there is one thing. Something I've been putting off for a while. It's something that I have been denying for years now.

But I have every right to deny it; I mean, I haven't even agreed to it yet. Sitting up in my seat, I stare at the wall; the warm cup in my hands, keeping my fingers warm. Since when did life become so difficult?

In middle school, the flow of life was steady, nothing major happening. Then BAM! High school started. Everything changed.

For most of the early years of Hollywood Arts, I was with Beck, Robbie was the same idiot he is now, Andre was less known and less popular, and Cat, well, she's the same as always. It was just the five of us; the Victorious crew. We ate together, talked together, and stayed together. We almost did everything together; but we were still distant.

Then Vega shows up. She's like this little ball of sunshine, ready to explode, spreading happiness and rainbows and stuff. At first, it was annoying as hell. Her 'goodness' was just too much for me to handle. I just couldn't stand the girl and I despised, but envied her from Day One.

The only reason I envied her was because she had the very nerve to walk into my school and rob the hearts of everyone there. And there was nothing I could do about it. I just bothered her, and enjoyed her agitation and pain. It humored me.

My eyes scan the room and I groan when I notice that the History teacher is droning about how this and that happened, and how I don't care. Why do we need to know about history anyway? They failed several times, yeah we get it. Learning it is just pointless. Memorizing it is just wasting your life.

My gaze falls on a certain brunette in front of me. A heavy sigh leaves me as I stare out the window. She's one of the only ones that got to me; one of the ones that is genuinely interested in me. Yep, that's right. Tori Vega is actually trying to get past my protective barrier. She's strong, I have to admit that. But is she strong enough for the ultimate task: Becoming my rock?

I know it sounds cheesy and needy but I'm serious. I need someone who can keep me calm when all I want to do is burn everyone in the pits of hell. Someone who can give me hope when all I feel is desperation. Tori may be that someone. I'm not sure if she is or not. The choice is hers.

After losing Beck for the final time, I became insecure of myself. I became more aggressive and self-centered. Everyone feared me more and started to avoid me; everyone except her, Tori Vega.

She may be brave, or stupid. Either way, she has no common sense. Any other person would've easily ran away from me. She, however, comes right at me. I just don't understand why she would even try.

But she did bring all of us closer together. The Latina was like the glue to our group. Without her, it'd practically be nothing. Usually, when she's sad, most of us are feeling down or frustrated. It's like a connection she has between us.

The bell rings its famous tune and everyone gets up and leaves the boring History classroom. I grumble a curse under my breath when I bump my leg against the doorframe. My hands are curled around my journal and half empty coffee cup. For some reason, it's still hot.

The halls are full as teens rush to their next class. I have lunch. Yay. Note the sarcasm.

I sit in my regular seat in our regular table. Looking through my PearPhone, I notice that everyone but Vega has shown up. My eyebrows knit together at her absence. She's usually always here.

I guess the others are thinking the same because Cat blurts, "Um, where's Tori?" The boys shrug, concern flashing in their dark eyes. A lump grows in my throat as I go over all of the possible outcomes. She could've stayed back to work on a project or she must be making out with one of the Hollywood Arts' man-whores. I cringe. No, she wouldn't do that. Tori's a smart girl, right? Right?

Gritting my teeth, I tighten my hold on the Jet Brew cup. Stop obsessing about her, Jade! I snap to myself. She's nothing to you, not even a friend. You'll always hate her.

A gust of wind hits my side as the scent of vanilla floods the air. I close my eyes, taking the smell in. It churned my stomach, making me woozy. Who is that?

Opening my eyes, I realize who it is and my eyes widen. Her warm chocolate eyes gaze into mine. A kind smile plays with her lips. An aura of goodness just radiates off of her. "Hey guys." The brunette tucks some her intruding hair behind her ear as she bites her lip. "Sorry I was late. Some guy wanted some help on his music homework." Without knowing it, I was carefully watching her every move, burning it into my memory. "So, what's happening with all of you?"

Then, all of them start to inform her of their lives' stories. I block their words from entering my ears. Just listening to them was unbearable, including when I couldn't focus on anything but her. It was like my body and mind were stuck on her, processing every little detail into my head. Our eyes meet and the table falls silent.

The tension is thick, almost suffocating. Her mouth forms into a tight smile. "Well, Jade? What's going on in your life?" You, I warned to say. You're stuck in my head, your voice and face haunting my dreams. All I wanted to do was say that but I knew that I couldn't. Not now.

My snarky, defensive mechanism covers for me. "What's it to you, Vega? My life is personal and I'd like very few people to actually know about it. That doesn't include you." Her once cheerful eyes fill up with pain and sadness. The sudden change shocks me. How much sadness can a pair of eyes hold? I want to take back my mean words but what's done is done.

The tan skinned girl swallows thickly and nods. Her eyes dart to the table, avoiding my questioning gaze. She clears her throat. "Um, good to know Jade," she replies. I blink, deciphering the tone beneath it. It sounds remorseful and strained. "So," the Latina looks down at her watch and I can swear that I see tears in her eyes. Maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. "I have to go. I have a-an appointment with my mom for the doctors. I'll see you later." Tori gets up and hurries back into the school.

I fight every urge in my body that screams at me to follow her. I stay in my seat, drinking my coffee. Accusing eyes fall on me as I look up. Sneering, I slam my empty cup on the table. "What are you all staring at?"

The geek's eyebrows furrow. "You got Tori upset," he states. "That's why she's lying about the appointment." The others nod in agreement. I scoff at him.

"And how do you know that she's lying?" I inquire, with a raised brow. There's no way that–

The African American sits straighter in his seat. "She went to the doctors' last week." The smirk falls off my face and onto his. My lips curl in agitation.

"And what if–"

My ex-boyfriend interrupts me. "Tori is perfectly healthy. We all know that. So why would she go to the doctors' again? She's lying, Jade. You upset her. Face it." I just wanted to hug him and slap him at the same time. Instead, I send him a venomous glare. He just looks down at his plate. Huffing, I stare intently at my phone.

I just stare at Vega's profile picture on The Slap. Her once cheery smile is a depressed frown. The guilt chews on my heart, eating me alive. My left cheek twitches as I jump to my feet, storming out of the Asphalt Cafe. I bump into a ton of shoulders but their owners must have a brain to know not to complain about it to me. It's their life or death at stake.

No one is at their locker, the halls barren. Wait a minute… The sound of footsteps echo long the hall's walls. My eyes widen as I witness the brunette with red eyes, dry tears down her face. Our eyes meet and she reacts like an animal.

The Latina runs away from me but I lunge for her arm, clutching her wrist. My fingers lock hold of it as I pull her into me. Catching her off guard, I easily drag her into the janitor's closet. I lock the door, blocking it with my body. There's no way she's running from this. The dim light allows me to see her troubled expression. "Vega…why?" I manage. Yeah, stupid question, I know.

She turns around, craning her neck. Her jaw is set, almost painfully. The smell of vanilla conquers the one of dust, cleaners, and plastic in the room. Tori sniffs, wiping her tears away. "I-I don't want to talk about it," she croaks. "Just let me out, Jade." So much pain is filling in the empty spaces of her actions. It starts to hurt me too.

A lump forms in my throat as I observe her. Her hair is still the same, maybe a little shaken up but that's it. Her eyes, though, are slightly bloodshot after all the crying. They're starting to get better though. She still looks heartbroken. "No," I decline sternly. "You're going to tell me what's going on or else," I threaten with little hatred.

Tori grits her teeth, her hands balling into shaking fists. "Or else what?" she snaps. Her voice shakes. My lips curve downward into a deep frown. I decide to move in closer and she flinches away. Is it really my fault she's like this?

"Tor, I didn't mean–"

The Latina waves her hand, dismissing the thought. "Can I just leave?" she whines. Smirking at her, I shake my head. "C'mon, just leave me be! You cause me enough problems, anyway." Both of our eyes widen, her dark ones filled with fear. She tries to push past me but I hold her by her biceps. Her body stiffens, almost as hard and unmovable as a rock. My pale, nimble fingers squeeze her arms, trying to see if there is blood coursing through her body. "What do you want?" she whispers breathily.

"What are you running from?" Her eyes tear from my intense gaze as they fall to my boots. She doesn't reply, a wad of frustration growing in her throat. I bring her closer. "Vega, what's wrong?"

Her body goes stiff for a moment, her sharp brown eyes glaring into mine. She breaks away from my hold and steps back. "This!" The brunette lets out. "This is driving me insane!" She runs a hand through her tousled hair, pacing around the small space she has. Her footsteps nearly stomp against the tile floor.

My mind is in a spin. What the hell does she mean? "Cut the slack, Vega!" I snap. "What do you mean? You're not making sense." The singer halts to a stop, turning to me slowly. My breath gets caught in my throat at the insanity beneath her craze filled eyes. "Vega…"

She storms up to me, our faces mere inches apart. "Are you that oblivious? I like you, Jade!" My eyes widen in shock at her confession. "No, wait. That's an understatement; I love you and it's driving me crazy. I just can't handle all of these feelings at once." Then, she falls to her knees, sitting on the filthy ground.

No tears spill from her eyes. I think that she's cried enough. My heart plummets to my stomach as I kneel next to her, unsure of what to do. I open my mouth to mumble something reassuring but nothing comes out. I end up looking like a fish. Pressing my lips together, I lift her chin up to me. Our eyes meet, a thousand emotions boiling in them.

Slowly, I lean in, softly pressing my lips against hers. She gasps silently but kisses back, gripping my spare arm. My fingers rub against her jaw as she sighs contently. Electricity just brings my body to life, fireworks exploding within me.

The kiss is slow but full of raw passion. We part for air, our chests heaving. Even through the semi darkness, her eyes are twinkling like miniature stars. "I feel the same," I confess, squeezing her hand in mine. The biggest grin that the world has ever seen grows on her face in less than a second. A flash of uncertainty passes through those dark chocolate orbs.

"W-Why didn't you tell me before? I thought you knew about my little crush…" I shrug slightly.

"Well, Vega, you must be a good actor to hide that from me. I never knew. I thought that you were 'Daddy's Little Straight Girl Vega.' I never pictured you as gay." She rolls her eyes but there's still something in them. The Latina is hiding something. "Okay, Tor, what's up?"

She lies directly on the ground now, butt to floor. "I don't get it. How come you hated me but secretly you loved me? So even though you thought I was your one and only, you still treated me like yesterday's trash?" Hurt slithers into her tone.

How come I did hurt her while I was in love with her? I sit next to her, the palms of my hands keeping my up. "I–I don't know. It was just a defensive act, I guess." I falter, not wanting to tell her why. But as she is Tori, she immediately notices the change.

"Jade, tell me the truth."

Biting my lip, I face my attention on the door. "The only reason I did this because it was easier to hate you than love you and not have you. It's always easier to hate someone who's not yours. And that's what I did." I feel her warm hand on mine. I look up, our eyes locking. A soft smile is visible on her face.

"Well, don't. I'm yours now. There's no need to hate me now." My heart pounds harder in my chest. "Now c'mere before I change my mind." Grinning wickedly, I lean in, kissing her again. My mind feels fuzzy but the feeling is comforting.

We stay there in the janitor's closet for the rest of the day until the end of school. Confessions and kisses are shared in that small room. I don't think that anyone notices our absences. All I care about is that Tori is in my arms.

Her brunette hair smells like vanilla and strawberries, the scent intoxicating me. I take a deep whiff, enjoying her smell. The silky strands wash over my skin. Her skin is delicate, like clouds. The wall is not too cold as I lay against it. My lips press small kisses along her jawline. She giggles a hearty laugh. I smile, holding her close. "That was the stupidest mistake I've ever done," I murmur in her ear. "I love you, Vega."

I can't believe I was so stupid. Maybe it was safer to hate her than love her and lose her but taking the risk was worthwhile. Taking risks is part of life, the rush of it all. If you take none, what rush of life will you achieve? Nothing. And guess what? Taking that risk got us together. That's what I'm thankful for. I think that's it wiser to love her and have her than to hate her and lose her. That's what I've learned today and I'll keep it in mind till I stop breathing. Love overcomes the hatred, after all. It's funny that I've learned through only experiences but now I know, and Tori Vega is mine. I'm hers. We belong to each other.

"Forever and always, Jade. Forever and always."

**The End**


End file.
